Blogcritics Satire

Obama Beefcake: Turning the Way We View Politicians on Its Ear

Joanne Huspek — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:51:04 EST

When too much skin is too much information.
It’s no secret that President-elect Barack Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii. Since the election, I have stridently attempted to limit any input I get from the media to the absolute bare minimum. This is what I want from TV: I want to know how cold it is and how much snow we’re going to get and nothing else....

Questions for President-Elect Obama This Christmas Day

Mark Schannon — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:03:58 EST

Have we given up any hope of letting Barak Obama just be a human being who happened to get elected president?
Estimates for attendance at the inauguration of our next governmental diety, Barack Obama, are now between 230 and 240 million people. Burned-out homes in the worst sections of town are renting for $100,000 an hour; they're going like hot cakes. Some predict that Jesus, Moses, and Mohammed will all be in attendance if they can get rooms. ...

Satire: Man Made Global Warming, Like The Existence Of God, Is A Proven Scientific Fact -- Jesus Demands That We Believe

Dan Miller — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 02:56:51 EST

Since all real scientists agree on MMGW, it is an Undeniable Fact.
According to an Associated Press Science writer, When Bill Clinton took office in 1993, global warming was a slow-moving environmental problem that was easy to ignore. Now it is a ticking time bomb that President-elect Barack Obama can't avoid.Since Clinton's inauguration, summer Arctic sea ice has lost the equivalent of Alaska,...

Satire: Kiss A Commie For Christ

Mark Schannon — Sat, 6 Dec 2008 01:01:31 EST

Pucker up, America. It's time to embrace Christ's true message -- love, don't kill, thy neighbor.
There was a bizarre slogan bantered about in the late '60s, if memory serves me right, which it rarely does. "Kill a Commie for Christ" was all the rage among the anti-anti-Vietnam War protest crowd. Them true blue Christian Americans were tired of the endless media coverage garnered by the apparently true red Commie Americans who objected to our...

Satire: The Non-White Man's Burden - God's Vengeance

Mark Schannon — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:28:43 EST

Having failed to destroy humanity with the Tower of Babel, God is now embarked on establishing the Cuisine of Babel which will finish the task.
Demographic experts now predict that by 2020*, white males will be in the minority in these United States of America. By 2050, white people will no longer be the majority race, although how the U.S. government tracks race is open to debate. By 2063, February 29th to be exact, white people will only be found in small enclaves surrounding suburban...

Satire: Spokespersons Say Military Not Ready for Diversity

Diana Hartman — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:24:22 EST

Interviewed sources cite history when justifying a ban on gay military personnel.
Dismissing pleas of retired military generals and admirals to repeal the incomplete sentence that is law, “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” gainfully employed military spokespersons remain opposed to gays serving openly in the military, citing “sexual tension” and “disruptions to good order, morale, discipline and...

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Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:24:22 EST

Google Searches Can Also Track Intellectual Outbreaks

Robert K. Blechman — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:26:42 EST

Simple steps to avoid an epidemic of cognitive activity.
An article in today's New York Times discusses how Google queries can anticipate the rise in reported flu outbreaks and beat the forecasts of the CDC, sometimes by weeks at a time.A similar technique could be used to track intellectual activity through Google queries. A recent article in The Atlantic suggested that using Google is making us...

Bush And Obama: What Really Happened at the White House

Mark Schannon — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:21:37 EST

What really happened when President Bush and President-elect Obama met at the White House? Here's the real dope.
President-elect Barack Obama made his first visit to the White House at the invitation of George Bush. Although reporters were kept away from the meeting, and the two offered no remarks after the visit, your intrepid reporter has sources deep inside the presidential mansion and has learned much of what transpired between the two former adversaries....

After Much Debate, the Title of "Greatest Sport" Goes To...

Casey Michel — Sun, 9 Nov 2008 16:03:09 EST

After centuries of heated debate, one sport has finally emerged as the greatest of all time.
What sport, above all others, embodies the fire of the human spirit? What sport combines more grit, guts, and gregariousness than Odysseus or Ulysses ever knew? What sport propels men, women, and children beyond their hardened limits and into the world of excellence and legend?Most of you, I’m sure, have already guessed the answer. Maybe you...

Palin in 2012: Let's Get the Party Started!

Winston Apple — Sun, 9 Nov 2008 12:59:44 EST

We must cleanse the Republican Party of the moderates who stand in the way of party unity and purity.
With the election of 2008 already days behind us, it's time to shift our focus to the election of 2012. The main order of business now is to rid the Republican Party of the few remaining moderates who stand in the way of party unity and party purity. Sarah Palin has already proven that she can simultaneously be a uniter and a divider. Among her...

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Sun, 9 Nov 2008 12:59:44 EST